I’m not a wealthy man, and while that does lead to its fair amount of stress, there are definite silver linings. One of those silver linings is that my home is not filled with novelty gadgets like the Toasteroid, which lets you “print” pictures and messages on your toast with the help of a companion app. Oh boy would I buy this.

The product’s kickstarter suggests using it as a way to send yourself reminders, perhaps to pay bills or, I don’t know, stay woke. The concept itself isn’t new, but this is the first time it’s been done commercially, unless you count the selfie toaster, which was limited to toast with your face on it. No thanks, looking in the mirror is shocking enough. I don’t need to see my mug popping out of the toaster. Before you poo-poo this as silly, rest assured that the folks at Toasteroid know this. It’s a gag gift, and a damn good one.

Anyways, look for my new novel, which will be printed exclusively on your breakfast toast. “I wasn’t able to eat it” will be the new “I couldn’t put it down!”

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