MEGATechie Gift Guide To Office Warfare

Yes, you read that right. Office Warfare. Not typically something you think of when you think holiday gift giving, but it actually makes a certain amount of sense. Holidays can be stressful, right? Work can also be stressful. Combine the fact that most of us have to work and it’s holiday time, and the stress can really start to get to you. What better way to relieve some of that stress than with some (mostly) harmless warfare with your co-workers?

If you’re wondering where to start, Erin Carstens has a wonderful book simply titled Cubicle Warfare which should be your first resource. It’s got 101 different ways you can prank your co-workers or otherwise brighten your day while getting their blood flowing a little faster. If you’ve always wanted to have a little fun, or maybe even be a little mean, but your creativity was a little lacking, you can’t really go wrong for under ten bucks US.

Most of us know da Vinci as an incredibly talented artist, but did you also know he designed complicated machinery as well? This is a desktop version of his Catapult, and for just $17.95 US why wouldn’t you want one? It comes with everything you need including glue, with all pieces pre-cut and labeled for easy assembly. Probably I should throw a disclaimer in here that you shouldn’t toss anything at your co-workers that could actually harm them or cause damage, but it’s totally up to you what you send sailing over their cubicle ramparts, right?

Similar to the above, but of Roman design, the Mini Ballista Kit could fit the bill for some of you. Each of its 28 pieces is laser cut from hardwood, and it comes with complete instructions to assemble something that will look neat just sitting there, but will also launch a projectile about 30 feet toward your unsuspecting co-worker. If you’re quick enough to hide it in a drawer, they might not even know it was you who fired! It’s only about $18.00 US.

For those of you who prefer a direct confrontation over a long-distance stealth attack, how about a Rubber Band Machine Gun? There are several different models and ways to go about this, of course, starting with the simple pistol you make with your hand. But if you’re really into it, this 16-barrel version that allows you to fire as many as 672 rubber bands without needing to stop and reload is the way to go. I mean, if you’re going to do it, go big or go home, right? By the way, big applies to more than just its capacity. This one runs about $200.00 US, although you can get it on sale for as low as $140.00 US.

This one might get you in trouble, just so you know. It could also cause some serious injury if you aren’t careful, and probably shouldn’t actually be fired toward a human or animal, or anyone’s window or computer or anything else breakable. But my goodness is it neat! It’s a mini cannon that fits in your pocket! Imagine how much more entertaining those interminable meetings sitting around a conference table would be if you could sneak this out of your pocket and fire a couple of ball bearings at your co-worker across the way! Especially if it happens to be that guy who always clicks his pen, or that girl with the annoying voice. And it’s only $34.99 US! I know, I said you shouldn’t shoot it at people. And you shouldn’t. But dreaming is free.

Before you can mount a good offense, you should think about defense. That’s where CubeShield comes in. Originally designed as a means of blocking out fluorescent light for those who work in cubicle farms, this also serves the purpose of if not outright stopping, at least deflecting, some of the aforementioned projectiles from unexpectedly whacking you in the head while you’re sitting at your desk minding your own business. Or when your co-worker tries to retaliate because you’ve just done the same to them. It comes in a bunch of different colours, and costs $34.99 US.