If you haven’t heard, Elon Musk is selling $500 flamethrowers – 20,000 of them, to be exact – with the name of his tunnel-drilling company, The Boring Company, emblazoned across the side. He’s not selling them to the military, mind you, but regular working stiffs, like myself for example. That’s a terrifying thought, isn’t it? Most of my day is spent on Twitter regurgitating memes, and I could own a flamethrower. And if you’re suddenly questioning what a flamethrower is, thinking that I couldn’t possibly get my hands on one of those things that are used to dispatch the scary xenomorphs in the ALIEN films, that that couldn’t possibly be right, rest assured: yeah, that’s a flamethrower. I could buy one.


I say maybe for two reasons. One, I live in California, and California Assemblyman Miguel Santiago isn’t thrilled with the idea of his constituents shooting open flames and he’s trying to block the sale, at least in this state. It’s really, really hard to blame him. And two, this whole thing might be a joke. Elon Musk loves jokes, which is what Santiago thought this was before the sale went live. Musk could still pull a fast one and reveal this all to be an elaborate goof. He could also have second thoughts and spin his very real flamethrower sale into a fun little prank.

Like I said, it’s hard to blame Assemblyman Santiago. As a Californian, fire has been our mortal enemy for some time now. I personally know people who just recently lost their homes to wildfire, and just a few years ago my county suffered a large, long-burning fire that was the result of arson. Let’s not make it easier on them.

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