For the Dad Who Puts Off Chores
I’ve never cleaned gutters myself, but I sure hear a lot about it on television and in movies. It seems to be the K2 of chores and nobody wants to do it, ever. You have to grab wads of wet leaves with your actual hands, which is disgusting, and then you’re stuck up a ladder with handfuls of gunk. That’s assuming you don’t fall to your embarrassing death while reaching for the gutter goop.
Like everything in life, a robot would make it better, and the iRobot Looj 330 aims to do just that. You’ll still need to climb a ladder, which is terrifying, but once you’re up there, you can place the Looj right in the gutter and it will do the cleaning for you, driving down the length of the gutter while its propeller of cleanliness will violently throw leaves to the ground below. You can control it manually, not unlike an RC car, or you can hit the “clean” button, and the Looj will do everything for you in an automated fashion.
For the Dad Who Likes Cold Beverages (aka Beer)
Relaxing and knocking back a cold one is a favorite past time among dads around the world. Beers and recliners go together so well that most dads love beer almost as much as they hate getting out of the recliner, even if it’s to get another beer. I’ve seen recliners that double as refrigerators, though that may have just been in an episode of Seinfeld. Real or not, the R/C Cooler is so much better.
It’s a portable cooler that holds 12 drinks and sports four wheels and will go speeding across the room at your very whim when you hold the accompanying 4-button remote. At some point you’re going to take a turn too sharp and spill your drinks everywhere, but that’s a small price to pay for such an unparalleled convenience.
For the Dad Who Freaks Out About the Thermostat
A lot of dads falsely believe that they possess the ability to detect the house temperature down to the very degree, which causes them to promptly lose their mind when somebody in the house tweaks the thermostat just a smidgen. With the Nest thermostat, dad doesn’t have to worry about anybody messing with the temperature, because the cold, calculating mind of a robot does it for you.
Nest learns what you like based on your previous usage and automates the temperature to fit your needs and, whenever possible, save you money. That’s two things that should make dad happy. Don’t worry, though, he’ll find something else to complain about.
For the Dad Who Sings in the Shower
It’s a little-known fact that whenever you sing in the shower, even if you’re Dave Grohl or Elton John, you sound like garbage. Something about the multitasking of cleaning your body and carrying a tune leads to unmitigated disaster. If you experienced this phenomena with your father, get him the Moxie wireless shower head speaker.
Now, I know what you’re going to say. “But Dylan,” you ask, as if I can hear you. “Won’t piping music into the shower just make him sing more?” You don’t get it, there is no more. Once he steps foot in the shower, you’re getting serenaded until that water turns off. At least this way with the music pumping in his face, he might actually be able to produce some sort of tune.
For the Dad Who Likes Golf Despite Not Being Very Good
I’m getting some pretty serious Nintendo Powerglove flashbacks here. Golf Sense is a device that attaches to your golf glove and, once you’ve swung, transmits fairly extensive data to your mobile device, making a pretty solid case that you’re really bad at golf.
Get better! That’s the idea here. Golf Sense is compatible with iOS and Android and will tell dad about his acceleration, velocity, tempo, position, and posture before he gets angry and throws the device into the nearest pond. That’s no winning attitude!
In all seriousness, dads are great, and Father’s Day gives us an excuse to tell them so under the pretense of obligation, so that it doesn’t seem all mushy and junk. These are all great gifts, no matter what sort of dad you have, so show him your love by getting him something he’ll really get a kick out of. Or just make him a card.