If you’ve ever brought a Apple product into an Apple store for tech support, you’re probably familiar with the Genius Bar. The “geniuses” actually sit at a bar and troubleshoot the issues that you’re having; they’re essentially glorified tech support. They’re ripe for parody and have been tackled by the likes of South Park. Now that the Genius Training Student Workbook has been leaked, we get a little bit of insight into just how creepy they can be.

Apple are encouraged to “appear” empathetic when a user is having trouble with a device. They’re not allowed to apologize for any problems that a customer may be having. They’re also taught how to gauge a customer’s mood by their physical actions. Some of it is obvious, like a blank stare being a sign of boredom, and some of it is questionable, such as a “cluck sound” being a sign of confidence.

The manual also lists what words geniuses aren’t allowed to say, how to be passive aggressive, and how to “guide” an interaction. Honestly, it reads like it was written for an alien or maybe a robot. It also feels oddly intrusive, like if you go in for help with your frozen MacBook, you’re going to get mentalized.

via Gizmodo